On Child Rights!!

I am all for child rights! I still regret the fact that I had beaten up my child on 3 or 4 occasions in the last 17 years; he says he hardly remembers as those were not even a proper thrashing. But I do remember those occasions, I lost my temper and behaved irrationally and I cannot forgive me for that. A number of reasons were there on my side but that cannot justify the act. As a rule, I always give him enough time to reflect on the mistakes he had committed and ask him to find a solution by himself. There are times that I had given stern warnings. That’s it!

I am pained when I read reports of corporal punishment (though it is banned) meted out by those children who study in the corporation and government schools. I get a shock when I read some of the extreme cases where the punishment ends in the death of the child.

But what about the methods of punishment that are in vogue in the so called “elitist public” schools? How does it feel when an adolescent boy is called a liar repeatedly before a class on an issue of a submission of a note-book? ‘Stupid, idiot, good for nothing fellow and no brain” are the other common phrases used by the teacher, often in the class room. What about the self esteem of the boy? What will happen to his self confidence?

I do not have to put myself into my son’s shoes to know the pain and humiliation that he is having to suffer. I did study in a convent school for sometimes where my maths teacher told me, “you fatty, you will never learn maths in your life. Other children laughed at the joke. I couldn’t do anything but stare at her with tears -blurring my sight and it was interpreted as my arrogance. I fought back my tears to cry under the lonely mango tree later. At times I was described as blacky or ugly. It is true that I never learnt maths in life, even though in later stages, I had wonderful maths teachers. The marks of beatings on my legs are faded and gone. But the pain and humiliation, I can feel it even today.

Of course, in a huge joint family, my mother did not have the time or inclination to understand the pain of this ugly duckling. But my son is lucky as we both are there for him to ventilate his pain and trauma - to accompany him for a long walk in the beach, some peppy talk and a kulfi. However, we are helpless; in the sense that we are not able to go to the school to have a talk with the teacher since my son is also bothered about the repercussions. He says he has six more months to go…

I wish I had I known about the school earlier….

And at night, I whispered into his ears: “don’t worry, one day I will borrow a burqua from Balkis aunty and follow your teacher into a market place and will call her stupid and useless and vanish”. Both of us know that I am not going to do that but he smiled at the thought of me doing that.

Good night dear!!

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with hostility,
they learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule,
they learn to be shy.

If children live with tolerance,
they learn to be patient.

If children live with encouragement,
they learn confidence.

If children live with praise,
they learn to appreciate.

If children live with fairness,
they learn justice.

If children live with security,
they learn faith.

If children live with approval,
they learn to like themselves.

If children live with acceptance, and friendship,
they learn to find love in the world.
Dorothy Law Nolte